I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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