My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
