i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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