My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize
