I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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