I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
