you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
