I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
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He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
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bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize