Plan B is the new Plan A
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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