carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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