I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
