Ambien. No doubt about it.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
