just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
