their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i came on her dog
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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