I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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