I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
