Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.