Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room

(248): View more from Michigan

Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65

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(248): Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room (248): Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65 http://tfl.nu/zat2

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(734): View more from Michigan

is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow

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(734): is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow http://tfl.nu/rth3

Replies (4) Good night (1447) Bad night (617)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home

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(401): Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home http://tfl.nu/zrvk

Replies (22) Good night (845) Bad night (6561)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.

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(484): I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid. http://tfl.nu/8dyc

Replies (23) Good night (4124) Bad night (807)
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(713): View more from Texas

you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.

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(713): you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank. http://tfl.nu/t4i5

Replies (12) Good night (3675) Bad night (968)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway

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(910): so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway http://tfl.nu/w82l

Replies (17) Good night (1110) Bad night (3817)
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(408): View more from California

Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.

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(408): Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver. http://tfl.nu/uqq7

Replies (10) Good night (3720) Bad night (1266)
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(207): View more from Maine

dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat

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(207): dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat http://tfl.nu/ast4

Replies (56) Good night (16189) Bad night (1925)
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(817): View more from Texas

I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs

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(817): I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs http://tfl.nu/vj8z

Replies (11) Good night (4887) Bad night (1084)
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(845): View more from New York

Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me

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(845): Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me http://tfl.nu/lgfh

Replies (9) Good night (3289) Bad night (1021)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.

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(717): It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me. http://tfl.nu/ym25

Replies (9) Good night (1009) Bad night (1316)
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(330): View more from Ohio

There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.

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(330): There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists. http://tfl.nu/kdms

Replies (4) Good night (407) Bad night (876)
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(914): View more from New York

So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED

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(914): So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED http://tfl.nu/nbqu

Replies (5) Good night (471) Bad night (511)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.

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(609): Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm. http://tfl.nu/g4hv

Replies (2) Good night (645) Bad night (283)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave

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(204): Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave http://tfl.nu/3m6z

Replies (1) Good night (375) Bad night (157)

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