Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
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I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
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You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.