I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.