I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office