I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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