Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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