Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
