Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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