Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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