guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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