$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Randomize
