Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
