New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
