I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
