I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
