After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
