We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
