those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
