I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
