he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
