i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
