SEEEEXXX PLEASE
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
