Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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