I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
