Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
