how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
