I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
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