i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
