Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
