I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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