When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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