Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
