I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
home. puking in laundry basket.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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