super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.