thus making me awesome and them whores
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
