you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
