Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
