I'm really into asian looking animals
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.