Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.