Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
