Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.