i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
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an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
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He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house