Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
