Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
