I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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