North Korea, Best Korea!
I met the friendliest cop last night
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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