he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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