i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
do herpes really smell.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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