im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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