I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
