In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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