Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I got inside last night via doggy door
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
