Umm I'm too high to move.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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