Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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