It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
