Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
