i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
