Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
